Head Above the Parapet
Writing beyond the sales pitch and censors
An Introduction to Head Above the Parapet
It’s hard to share ourselves and this deeply personal work. Some people can shout about sex, I’m not one of them. When I stand up at The Sex Lectures or teach on Sexological Bodywork training, I look and feel more confident than I am with my writing. Professionally I love what I do yet sharing this writing feels personal, vulnerable and terrifying. As a memoirist and teacher, I’m walking the line between self-revelation and professional credentials.
I want this ‘column’ to be educational, original and/or erotic, adding levity, pleasure and optimism to our lives.
When I invite other contributors, I’m asking colleagues I value highly to bring something personal to this column, drawing from their reservoirs of professional training mixed with lived experience. The realms of love, sex and reality are far from perfect but come in hard-won lessons. Please be kind with this experiment and each other. If you learn or enjoy something, that’s wonderful. If it’s not for you, that’s cool too.
That’s the joy of erotic and personal freedom, finding what matters to you, to know that your dilemmas are shared, and there’s value in the courage to try something new, being safe enough to explore. Enjoy.
What do we do in the Certificate of Sexological Bodywork® training?
We are teaching about choice, sensation, self-regulation, awareness, and eroticism.
Squandering Everything in the Name of Freedom
Saved by online sex-positive parties meant I met a crush and danced naked in my Italian under-floor heated kitchen in a regular Friday morning zoom.
Masochism and Devotion
That week I led naked yoga with 4 men, 2 in chastity cages, and one day with a riding crop.
It’s Not Them
Why did your exes leave you? Of course not all of the exes are worth listening to. What would your nicest or most recent ex say is tough to be with about you?
What Happens When We Stop Performing and Start Feeling?
Sometimes, we even go for an anger fuck.
Let's Hear It For the Little Emotions
Are those ones also welcome? Indifference, contempt, boredom, intolerance, cynicism, skepticism, stuckness.
Untangling the Erotic Mind
Erotic and relationship habits are hard to break. First you have to see them, then you can do something about them.
Co-Created Massage
The first deep sigh; a sign we feel safe, the breath deepens, the touch is congruent. Then we know we’ve found what we came for.
What's a Certified Sexological Bodyworker?
Imagine someone supporting you and not trying to fix you…
Wandering Beyond the Binary Boundary
Demi-sexual, pansexual, queer, polyamorous, nonbinary, androgynous, she/they, free dancer, solo poly, am I a gay man in the drag of a female body?
Why the Three Minute Game is Better than Date Night.
One of my stand out life changing moments was with a previous lover. For one of his three minutes of Taking he’d asked to lick me.
Exploring Embodied Consent & Boundaries
A still hand on the back of my heart makes me cry. Even to think about it brings tears.