July 2026
This time a report to Greco as I’m in UK for the forseeable. I was in hospital with pneumonia for three weeks and, as I had a seizure, I can’t drive. So I’m not going back to Greece for 6 months. Apparently at times in ICU it was like something from an early episode of ER though regrettably without George Clooney. I was out of it for much of the first two weeks so I’m glad to be back in the world catching up on a backlog and walking a little further from car to Chorlton favourites; North Star deli, Unicorn and Barbakan - gotta keep up the pastry habit that friends were kind enough to keep up in hospital when I couldn’t face the breakfast. I’m so grateful for visitors. I didn’t drink a coffee for 3 weeks so I’m glad that habit is restored. Last week I had affogato - twice - oh my!
So it’s going to be interesting what happens at my house in Corfu as I’m shoved out of the way, any worrying about who will come to stay is pretty futile.
I’m so grateful all this illness happened in Manchester with amazing doctors and hospitals. I have breast cancer that may have gone to my spine, though as yet nothing is certain so another scan is happening on Monday. I’m quietly focusing on what good may come out of this - so am advocating for a pair of matching smaller breasts and reconstructive surgery. Let’s see if those plastic surgeons can create their art. And an even better cleavage.
My bit of the picture is surrender, acceptance of the unknown, and the treatment plan. So far I’ve been good, and fortunately not anxious, some might say indifferent to cancer. I’m really just not interested.
Instead I’m bright-siding like a Master, very grateful for those dharma classes and Jack Kornfield over the years, to help me create distance between me and what’s happening in my body and not catastrophising.
I’m misquoting (but you get the gist) of my friend Srajano who said, “I may have cancer but it doesn’t wholly have me.” So far nothing bad is happening. In fact v little is happening, so mostly I’m more tired than usual. So if I don’t reply to messages asking me how I am, it’s because I’m tired, & lucky enough to have nothing to say. Please don’t assume I’m having an awful time as I’m not. When I was first diagnosed, Annabel gave me two great guides “Watch your thoughts,” and “follow or do what you have energy for.” So far it’s serving me well. I’m so grateful to be staying with my fantastic sister and brother in law and their family, and feel safe and contained when I feel weaker and wobblier than usual. The doctors say I have to stay in Manchester and rest. This does not compute, though by about 4pm I’m out of beans. So there’s a mental gap to be bridged about what I think I should be capable of, and what I can actually do.
