Match

I have a friend who’s just gone back on Match dating app, yet feels ambivalent about it.  Surely, it’s a time to be truthful and say if all she wants is occasional male energy or company to go to nice places, without the dread of some tinnie-drinking sports watcher taking up space on her new sofa, in her new home and future life.  Just like her ex-husband. In the brief time I was on a dating app years ago, I remember feeling incensed with some guy, let’s call him the patriarchy, telling me I needed to be clear about what I wanted. At the time, I was fishing and open to whatever was interesting. Which turned out to be not much, unless you count someone telling me how much I’d love their flat in a resort in Spain. Really? Yet now I concur with being clear.  Knowing what we don’t want gives us clues to what we do. Follow that impulse. The time for being nice is superseded by telling the truth of who you are and who you might be. Yet that’s a huge risk if what you want is to be picked.