Gold

A decade ago, I met a man on a packed train leaving Hebden Bridge, twinkly eyes, nattily dressed in a gold scarf. He was on his way to Spain, we swapped numbers. Arranging to meet weeks later in a tearoom in the village, I walked to our meeting, wondering if I could tell him what I’d done and not done at my first mixed tantra weekend, and if he’d still like me. For the first time, I realised I didn’t have to care. It was just a coffee, and whether he approved or disapproved of my weekend, liked me or didn’t like me, it simply didn’t matter. Still wearing the gold scarf, putting down a book as I arrived, he ordered us a coffee, and we settled, talking about Spain and his quiet joy walking the Camino. “And what have you been up to, Ali?” Deep breath, “I was at a Tantra course”. A flicker of interest lit up in his eyes, and he asked me to share. “I learned about Yes, No and Maybe.” We’re still friends.