I’ve tried to impose my version of a future in every relationship. Those boyfriends that didn’t work out had different ideas for their future, apart from the ex-Marine who was looking for a new queen to serve. Yet I couldn’t stand his servility. Beyond the boring old, oft-repeated tales of derring-do, the lack of awareness around his giving-to-get became intolerable; I also came to notice, and dislike, the way he ate; clinking cutlery violently noisily against the plate as if he still lived in a mess. My body liked his though. We mitigated much of the potential contempt and imprisonment of lockdown with kindness, wood gathering on walks and G-spot fingering.
