Meal-ticket

Rather than choosing a label, finding your polycongruency is finding someone's relating style to match your own. I had a boyfriend once who was a swinger. He wanted us to have adventures so he could fuck women once a month. It was never going to work. I found that out the hard way. Finding someone I want to fuck is a rarity; the choices on swingers sites did little to raise the odds. He loved me, I loved him. He wanted us to swing together, I wanted him alone. He wanted a meal ticket. I wasn’t it. The woman he found to replace me was a swinger. She loved him more than she pretended, ironing his shirts, keeping his house, calling him Master, teaching him ropes, submitting for her pleasure, accepting pain. He found someone who wanted swinging for herself and a BDSM contract. They got each other's way of relating without needing to love each other. Ultimately, that worked out badly too. Relating of any kind is a trip.