Asker

Are you an asker or a guesser? Can you ask for what you want clearly, or do you try to guess if the other person will say yes, before you voice a request? To be able to ask, you have to believe that it’s okay to ask. To ask clearly and cleanly, believing that it is equally okay for the other person to say Yes or No. To accept that it is natural for you to still have the wish, even if the person you’d most like to help or share the experience with you doesn’t want to. To see that No as clarity, rather than rejection it gives clarity and a change of direction. Being a Guesser requires different mental acrobatics to fit your desire into someone else's day. First, to work out if the other person is likely to be able to say yes, alongside the risk of being met with confusion. Someone wanted a lift, yet instead of asking me if I could offer a lift at a certain time, they started asking me about my plans for the day. I didn’t understand why until I asked them why they were asking. Asking for what you need or want directly is a great shortcut. For you and the other.