Nil sum

How do we resolve conflict when there isn’t a win-win? When it's a nil sum. When what one person wants is directly opposite to another. Whether that’s capitalism, colonialism or one person wanting sexual freedom, while the other would like intimacy contained in a relationship. We’re going to get disappointed, hurt, or lose out. We’re also going to be the ones who hurt and disappoint others. We can easily unconsciously be the person who over-takes, rather than the more socially acceptable over-giving. We often have no idea how much others accommodate our way of being, or give way so that we can have what we like. Living brings all these aspects into being. There’s an inevitability to inherent privilege which can shift when it’s expressed or when requests for changes in behaviour are voiced. When solutions are found instead of resentments. And an agreement made explicit about giving way more equally, or exiting the exploiting situation.