Limits

As a basis for empowerment, we need to understand we have a choice about what happens to us. A belief that we can have moveable limits and boundaries which will be respected allows us to be more generous, trusting and intimate. This is tricky in relationships, where there are many unspoken assumptions at play. Recognising that someone else’s pleasure is their bag allows you the freedom and responsibility for your own. This means understanding your preferences, your body’s arousal or lack of, and sharing that information with the person you’re getting up close and personal with. Initially, this might sound a bit mechanical and lacking ‘magic and chemistry’. Yet, once expectations, inadequacies and egos are put aside, it’s liberating to have a clear understanding which helps sort out underlying suppositions. Then the real magic of intimacy can begin: honesty, fun, relaxation, variety, and pleasure. It’s radical, subtle and revolutionary thinking.