There’s a lot of information out about The Wheel of Consent out there. Brilliant, clear explanations about the quadrants, the purpose and the basis of it. Imho It’s a subtle, radical work of genius and thankfully spreading through the conscious sexuality teaching world. Betty Martin is the sex educators sex educator of choice. I was honoured to assist her at Like A Pro in Manchester in May 2020 and In Bilbao in 2022.
Here I want to share how the WOC, and playing the 3 min game for the last few years has steadily and surely contributed to turning my life around for the better, to learn about boundaries and domains, touch, presence and what is real giving and receiving.
I’ve learned how to feel more by placing my attention
Taking is the game-changer.
Thank you is better than Sorry.
I’m still learning how to Receive for long periods.
May I? Will You? Yes. No. That’s it.
3 minutes is enough.
Your skin is the greatest erogenous zone.
I’ve broken habits of a lifetime.
Allowing surprises me every time.
Be wary of a man who only ‘loves to Give.’
I can say what I want. Yes, there’ll be consequences. I’ll deal with them.
My clarity is off the scale. It’s not always popular. It helps me a lot.
Sometimes 3 minutes is too long. Changing your mind is good.
It can get you somewhere you didn’t know you wanted till you got there and felt it. Sigh.
I love being pushed up against the wall with someone pulling my hair, heavy breathing and squeezing my bum. It’s hot.
I can ravage a man. They like it.
I can be in awe, gazing on my lover's body.
Learning to feel pleasure from touching someone else is empowering. It's all receiving. We call that Taking.
Both people Taking, now you’re talking!
Co-created Massage is the way forward.
Hello/Goodbye is where it begins.
I know when touch for me, I know when it’s for someone else.
It cuts through porn speak. If someone says they want to worship me - blah!
The golden hairs on someone’s arm made my cheeks blush and my yoni pulse.
Rejection is a change of direction.
Saying No to my friends is the hardest thing. Explaining why is helping.
An explanation of No is a choice. And a sometimes a kind addition.
A 3-minute timer beats a vibrator.
It can create a revolution on a Tantra weekend.
It’s the death of performance anxiety.
Letting your body decide is a radical act of subversion.
Getting what you want, when you want with who you want is wonderful. Move over telepathy.
We always have more power than we think.
A still hand on the back of my heart makes me cry. Even to think about it brings tears.
Doing does not equal Giving. That’s old skool.
It’s the bedroom equivalent of jump-leads for couples.
Stop over-giving when no-one asked you. Martyrdom is boring.
Empaths can be intrusive actually. How about going back into your own Domain?
I tolerated for too long. Not any more.
I can put my desires aside.
I know the difference between Wanting and Willing.
A man who can ask for what his whole body wants is brilliant.
Counteroffers are welcome.
Everything changes all of the time. The Buddha was right about Impermanence
I’m still learning about safety even though I’ve never felt unsafe. I want to know the deeper feeling of safe. The absence of fear is not the same as safety.
The Wheel of Consent is here.
To book a session to learn more about this work of subtle revolutionary genius, please email