As women, we don’t know what we want because we don’t know what’s possible.
Not only that, but we’re scared that if we did know what is possible, we wouldn’t be heard, our desires would be dismissed, or we would be shamed.
We’re scared and in the dark about our sweetness and our wildness, scared of ourselves and our edges, and scared to be vulnerable in case we turn out to be weak or boring. We are scared to be too passionate in case we’re 'too much', so we close down and give up, feel misunderstood, sad and disconnected.
From my experience in working with men and with couples, I can say with certainty that men want us to know what is possible. What's more, they are delighted when we ask for what we want.
It is important to find a way of asking lovingly and kindly, so as not to make our lovers feel like they are wrong, or to put them on the defensive. Moving towards each other can be tricky, and we each need to take our own steps to discovering or reclaiming our erotic selves.
After all, life is better when we’re sexually and emotionally satisfied.
My message to women
This work invites you to explore what you like, regain your sense of self, build your confidence, and to feel free and brave enough to share yourself authentically with your partners.
If you’ve had years of unskillful, unvaried touch from your partner, it is time for change. If you have spent long nights wishing you could speak your truth – and truly be heard – it is time for a change.
My work with women is about reconnecting with innate affection, sensuality and potential pleasure – a connection that I believe we all need and deserve.